he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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