Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
