is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There r osticjed everywhere
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
