maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
