no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
