the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
