Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
