The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
