somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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