he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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