thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
