I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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