so that wasnt chicken after all
I faked an abortion last night.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
