Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
