why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize