one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize