There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
