Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
