How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
