She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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