I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
