so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
