I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
