He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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