Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
