so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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