I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
