I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
