Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
