A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
