Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
