it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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