Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
