Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
