i permit you to call me
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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