what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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