When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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