i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
