i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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