Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
