At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
