If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
