She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
