Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
