why do cheetos always look like penises
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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