the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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