what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
