ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
