I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
