you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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