Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
