glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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