It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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