Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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