the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
