I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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