Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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