I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
