the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
