I must be too annoying 4 u.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
