"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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