they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
