So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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