I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
