I wish I only lived at night.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
