Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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