how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
