8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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