I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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