so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
