everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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